my first week

My new job is going pretty well. As always, it has its challenges-the learning curve, managment issues, etc. Everyone is so nice though, and its great to finally be working in an environment that I feel supported and encouraged. My management responsibilities are a new skill for me to refine, but thankfully I inherited my dad's analytical/organizational skills. Thanks dad!

On a spiritual note, the enemy has been working overtime! I have a heightened awareness of the battle that we face in the Spirit. God keeps asking, "Do you really trust me?" Because if we did REALLY trust Him, we would give Him our anxieties, our struggles, and concerns, and then trust that He took care of it. Sometimes I find myself giving a situation to Him, and then before I know it I'm worried about it. As I was worrying, the Lord just asked, "have you given this to Me?........... then let Me have it." I'm learning to trust. The word that I am holding onto is "No weapon formed against me shall prosper." The enemy has no weapon, no tactic that can harm us if we really do trust Him, So although the struggle is real, I am fighting harder than I have probably ever fought. I know that the battle is already won, but I am learning to trust that His purpose and process is greater than we can understand in the natural.

In Honor

This past weekend has been quite challenging. I found out on Saturday that my grandmother passed away. Unfortunately she lived in Arkansas, and they had a horrible icestorm over the weekend. Not to mention that my first day on the job was today. My dad called me and basically said "don't come"! Well this brings quite a dilemma. Go-and be there for my grandmother's funeral and miss my first day on the job, or stay-accepting my father's request and miss her funeral. Then add on the fact that I really wasn't very close to her. Because of the timing of it all, I had to make the decision with very little time to really think about it. After many tears and advice, I decided to not go.

Then came the struggle. It has been a two day battle mentally and emotionally. The decision was made, and it was too late to change my mind. I had to come to peace with the fact that I wasn't going to be there. It all came down to wanting to be there to honor my dad and his heritage. My dad is the kind of man who always puts others first, especially his girls. Because of this, you never really know what he needs or what he wants. I had to trust him that if he wanted me there he would have given me some indication, and I would have been there in a heartbeat.

So last night I was really struggling with this decision that I had made- I felt like I was missing the mark as a granddaughter and as a daughter. The Lord so clearly revealed to me that if God is the mark, then I can never miss it. Sometimes we are forced to make decisions without really getting a chance to ask the Lord and wait for His response. These are the times that we have to trust the Spirit in us, to guide us, and with that we will never go wrong.

My first day on the job was good. A bit overwhelming, not as welcoming as I would have liked, but I survived. I'm truly trying to just take it one day at a time, so maybe tomorrow I will tell you a little bit more about the job.

Today-I want to honor my grandmother, Eva Kitchell, although I couldn't be there today, I was there in heart. The woman who raised the best dad in the world is now with our Heavenly Father. She is healed, she is whole, and she will be loved and missed.

Latest update

I've been a little bit out of the blogging world. No real reason except I've been feverishly working on projects around the house. I'm the type of person that routine is good for, but I tend not to implement it unless I have to. During this interim of not working, I find that I become a night owl. I sometimes stay up until 4am, and even then have to tell myself to go to bed because it's late. There is nothing like the quiet of the night, such solitude and focus. I will get in a zone and before I know hours have passed by. So by now I'm sure you are asking "what in the world are you doing until 4am?" Well, honestly mostly organizing and scrapbooking. It's a great sense of accomplishment to get a project done, however I think I may have to give up the notion of ever being "caught up". There are just too many projects/albums that I would like to do. It's nice getting the opportunity to get some of it done though.

Well, my husband gave me a powerbook for my birthday, so now I can enjoy the blogging world from the comforts of my own couch-Yippee! This also means that I need to learn all about MAC usage. I've already discovered the beauty of iphoto-it is so much better than my PC version.

I start my job with my infertility specialist one week from tomorrow. I'm extremely excited, but kind of nervous as well. I love learning, but not all at once. I feel like I'm standing at the bottom of a huge mountain looking up and wondering how in the world am I going to make it up there. (The mountain being the learning curve). Just as God truly handed me this job and opened the doors, I know that He will give me wisdom and strength to begin this next journey. Thanks to everyone for your prayers about my job situation. This whole storyline is definitely one that I know God wrote.